I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
