dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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