Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize