I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
