Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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