we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My feet surprised me
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
