I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
