i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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