he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
