If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
