the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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