Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Pants are for mortals
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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