I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
True strength comes from lack of pants
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
