She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
