Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
