I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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