So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
