I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
