i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
In America we eat man semen.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
