if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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