Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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