We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
