I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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