Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize