just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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