Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
