Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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