Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
