If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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