the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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