Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
The best revenge is premature balding
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
