Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
