Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
