I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
