you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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