You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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