Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
