i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
