I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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