i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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