his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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