I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
3pm strippers are depressing
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
