It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
