i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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