I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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