I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
