i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
