I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
