So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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