I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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