well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
