these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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