so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
