remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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