I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
