I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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