So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The uberlube is also flammable
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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