so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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