It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
