I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
